Start Weight: 225lbs (10/2009) Goal Weight: 150lbs

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The best "me" that I can be..

Did anyone else the Oprah yesterday? ..

I watched it on DVR this morning ..and it was thought provoking..

Oprah said her battle with food was over .. and I think what she's saying is she's choosing not to use food as a drug ..and the woman that was on her show(Kathrine) had been there before to show off an amazing weight loss.. only to come back years later with having gained all of the weight back..

"I knew things were out of control with the first 20 pounds, and then I said, "Forget the whole thing,"she says. "It became a complete self-sabotage at that point. I began to hide. I began to feel I wasn't worthy anymore." -Kathrine

And that is something I would think many times in the past ten years that I've gained my extra weight.. I would think about how I've gained a few pounds .. or had made bad food choices and gave myself some sort of permission to keep going down that dangerous path..

I feel like I value myself/my health/my happiness a lot more then I ever did .. and I think it's how I've found the courage to go through all the work to get to this point (waiting on WLS) and having the strength and courage to go through with the surgery and have to live with this "tool" for the rest of my life.

I know your not supposed to lose weight for anyone but yourself .. but for me ..I feel like I woke up when my son was born. I struggled a bit after he was born with some postpartum depression and worried why I ever thought it was a good idea to be this responsible for another human being..

He made me(still makes me) want to be the best I could be ..not anything beyond that ..just the best me..

I got some help from a therapist and got my PPD under control .. and i'm happy to have a therapist still in my life to help me through/during this new chapter of WLS..

I want to be healthy/happy for myself to fully enjoy my little family and all the other great things in life..

I didn't make the best food choices this weekend .. went to P.F Changs for the first time (yum!) and then there was the whole Easter food fest 2010 on Sunday .. and I had a hard time resisting the candy that was around the house yesterday..

Old me: Oh well .. let's just keep the party going and it's the last week before your pre-op diet just live it up.

Work-in-Progress me: Oh well.. Not a big deal..but let's work out at the gym (last night) and bag up all the Easter candy to have my husband bring it to work with him.. Let's work on getting back on track with a Protein shake for breakfast and lunch and meeting my water goal for the day..

I really like this "Work-in-Progress" me .. I hope she sticks around and puts up a good fight against "Old me" ..

Here's the link to Oprah's website and the story if you missed it on tv:
Kathrine and Oprah


  1. I watched a bit of Oprah's show too. We say we are losing weight for us but you are so right. It is really for others in our lives. If we are a better person and feel good, we treat others well.

    So it was you who sent in that chocolate that was sitting by the door this morning. Must've been a couple of smashed up bunnies in the container. Shame on you for tempting me :-) But I resisted and it's all gone (but not in my stomach)!

  2. I didn't see the Oprah show, but I felt the same way before surgery. I ate some cake, so my "diet" is blown now so I can eat whatever. I am so glad I don't feel that way anymore!

  3. I heart Geneen Roth, author of the book that Oprah says changed her thinking to decide the battle with food was "over." The most important point, I think, is that the only way out of overeating is treating yourself with kindness and respect.

    It is kind and respectful to say to yourself "hmmm, I ate a little too much today. Oh well, no big deal..." like you did. Great thinking and essential mind-shift!

  4. Great post! I didn't get to see the show, but it sounds like it hit home for you on some levels.

  5. Go Work In Progress. You can do it!