I mean ..what else could I possibly think about! .. Well that statement isn't 100% true but food is on my mind a lot.
I really wanted to loose the 20+ lbs and be an even 200 for surgery ..but that isn't looking like it's going to happen right now. I'm not beating myself up about it ..but I do recognize that I'm having a hard time getting out of the 'this is my last real good meal' mentality..
I weighed in at 223 today at my physical ..It's so hard to see that number and think that I've had all these months and I didn't do anything about it. I didn't gain weight ..so maybe that's a small victory? A victory that I haven't gained weight since Oct.. I guess that's not so bad when I think of it that way.
I almost want the band to use it as an excuse to why I can't eat that much anymore.. does that make sense to anyone? I feel like everyone knows that I never say no to going out to grab a bite to eat and I'm not the first one to order up a small salad either. Or feeling like I have to finish something/take enough on my plate at dinner or my husband will ask if I'm feeling okay or do I like what he made.. I just want to use the band in those ways.. even if it's just in the beginning.
I feel like I've been so calm/cool about all this up until this point .. and now I just want to wrap everything up and get a date so that I can move forward.
I'm going to order a 'Try Me' pack from Inspire and try a few flavors of their protein shakes.. I want to make sure I like my meals that I'll be enjoying for 10 days before surgery! :)
and those are my Wednesday afternoon thoughts on food!
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Hey Kristen - you're in CT too, where are you? Nice to 'meet' another Nutmeg Stater here. Postpartum doula sounds like a great job, too bad I didn't meet you nine months ago when I had my third.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself about the pre-op weight loss. It will come in time. I know it's hard because you want it to happen NOW - me too. But we have to be patient. Like a Jedi.
(Can you tell my boys are Star Wars obsessed?)
I love that there are a bunch of us 'Kristen/Kristin's in WLS bloggy land!
ReplyDeleteI'm up in pretty much the center of the state ..I think (from reading your blog) your down state?
You have a nine month old! Love that age..
It would be fun to have a CT/NYC get together one day :0)
Could you really lose much more weight? Wouldn't that effect your chances of getting approved by insurance?
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