a small change..

2.22 and 4.13 2010

223 and 213

not a huge amount lost

but i can see it!

baby steps..

just a lick of grilled cheese?!

my son only had 1/2 of his grilled cheese last night for dinner and oooh baby did I want to eat the rest of that oooyeegooey goodness ..

instead i took pictures of it with my iphone ..

i'm allowed to have 1C of raw veggies along with my shakes .. and I had a 1/2C of cucumber yesterday with some spray on dressing.. and I totally licked the plate with no shame .., well..without a whole lot of shame..

this is hard.. and i went to bed hungry last night ..

i hoping that today is easier ..and that i won't feel lightheaded/dizzy like I did last night ..not a good feeling..

but do you know what is a good feeling!! standing on the scale at a new low .. in a long time ..213!!

so i've successfully passed a 10lb mark and that means 10 new songs on itunes!! whooo!! searching for songs should take up some time this a.m .. and keep me away from my kitchen..


ps- i lost a follwer/reader.. and though i'm not quiet sure who it is .. i'm just a little bummed to have lost one either way.. i'm trying to be a better poster that leaves lots of comments/support to the other peeps out there fighting this good fight.. thanks to the followers/readers that are sticking with me .. ((hugs))

Pro's and Con's ..

Thanks again to Catherine Chronicles from Band Land for inspiring me to think about these things and get them all in one spot.. I can't wait to re-read this weeks/months/a year from now..





here's the link to her pro/con list: http://chroniclesfrombandland.blogspot.com/2009/05/reflections-on-my-pre-op-journal.html








The Con's:



-Having some sort of medical complication from surgery



-Feeling like I can't eat "anything" that I did before band..and really miss that "something"


-Stuck/PB/Sliming .. all those fun things you read about in blogs or on LapBandTalk ..



-Being afraid of cooking/baking for my family ..and I don't even know why ..


-Having extra skin ..flapping in the wind :0)



-Not being able to order anything off the menu at a restaurant other than ..soup..






The Pro's

-Being at a healthy/"normal"/weight and BMI



-Buying clothes and having fun while doing it



-Looking my best and feeling that confidence when I walk out my door..



-More motivation for working out and keeping up with it (since it might be a bit easier w/less lbs)



-Wanting to go out more rather than skipping an event ..just because I can't find something to wear/feel extra fat that day/ect ect ..



-Not want to puke when I see myself in a bathing suit

-Feeling more comfortable in my "birthday suit"!! :0)

-I really want to buy cute bra's and undies ..



-And the bath towel going all the way around me .. that would be nice..

-Even though I don't really have a reason to wear them.. wearing high heel shoes and looking forward to dressing up for a wedding/party/ect.. instead of dreading it ..

Now some other things to look forward to ..other than food!


Every 10lbs gone = 10 songs on itunes .. and I'll post my picks in case anyone else is looking for some good stuff for the ipod..



20lbs lost = new gym sneakers .. I need some ..put I'd like to put in a little bit more work before I buy them..



30lbs lost = spend my 60$ I have in Old Navy money (from Christmas that I've saved) and then give myself 40$ to make it a 100$ dollar shopping trip!



And then after 30lbs I'll come back and make another list of rewards for the last 30-40lbs ..

********************************************************************************

Thoughts on my 1st day of Pre-Op diet ..

I did good .. it was hard ..but I made it through .. and I feel like this week won't be so hard .. it's the weekends where it feels tricky..(less in control of food choices)..

I went to the gym yesterday afternoon and then met my husband/little dude over at my Mother-in-law's house for Sunday dinner (we've been doing this for years) .. I was thinking of the things I would have eaten if I wasn't on this..

-the salsa and chips that were out on the table ..
-the m&m's that are in her little candy dish .. the jellybeans left over from Easter ..still on a dish on her living room table..
-dinner (duh) ..

And that wasn't hard for me .. just realizing how much I picked/snacked before .. without even thinking I was doing anything wrong.. but those little things add up!

So I came home and had my Protein shake and felt fine for the rest of the night .. 1 day down.. 10 to go!!

Happy Monday everyone!


ps- I did take more "before" pics ..but .. I'll share those in a few less lbs for a comparison pic! :0)

I don't even eat this crap!

But believe me .. I eat a whole lot of other crap! :0) And all of this stuff looked yummy and ultra tempting today. Do you know why all this stuff might be tempting to someone that doesn't even eat it?

a.) I'm crazy

b.) I'm scared

c.) It's the 1st day of 11 days of Pre-Op diet

d.) All of the above

Did you say 'd' .. well then DING DING DING (and not the sugary ones) we have a winner!! I'm all of those things today and it's only day one!

I have lots and lots of confidence that I can do this.. it just seems a bit overwhelming today..

"Work in Progress" me has decided to stick around for the long haul ..and I feel like I did really good last week..

Tried really hard to work on portion sizes ..

Went to the gym three times ..and had great sweat-filled workouts

I'm still having a hard time getting in all my water .. but it's an improvement to what I'm used to drinking during the day.

I'm working on a post (maybe to be put up tonight) .. with some more before pics.. cause who doesn't love a little bit of torture on a Sunday! :0)

And I was inspired by reading Catherine's Blog: http://chroniclesfrombandland.blogspot.com/
to make a Pro/Con list .. I think it helps to have small goals along the way to a big one ..with some non-food rewards.

So here's to 11 days of more protein shakes that I could ever ever want to drink in my entire life...

here's a pic of my little dude as we were leaving the grocery store today .. he was having a full blown "pretend" converstation on his "phone" .. filled with "uh huh's" and pausing to let the other person talk too .. he's got quite the imagination .. :0)

The best "me" that I can be..

Did anyone else the Oprah yesterday? ..

I watched it on DVR this morning ..and it was thought provoking..

Oprah said her battle with food was over .. and I think what she's saying is she's choosing not to use food as a drug ..and the woman that was on her show(Kathrine) had been there before to show off an amazing weight loss.. only to come back years later with having gained all of the weight back..

"I knew things were out of control with the first 20 pounds, and then I said, "Forget the whole thing,"she says. "It became a complete self-sabotage at that point. I began to hide. I began to feel I wasn't worthy anymore." -Kathrine

And that is something I would think many times in the past ten years that I've gained my extra weight.. I would think about how I've gained a few pounds .. or had made bad food choices and gave myself some sort of permission to keep going down that dangerous path..

I feel like I value myself/my health/my happiness a lot more then I ever did .. and I think it's how I've found the courage to go through all the work to get to this point (waiting on WLS) and having the strength and courage to go through with the surgery and have to live with this "tool" for the rest of my life.

I know your not supposed to lose weight for anyone but yourself .. but for me ..I feel like I woke up when my son was born. I struggled a bit after he was born with some postpartum depression and worried why I ever thought it was a good idea to be this responsible for another human being..

He made me(still makes me) want to be the best I could be ..not anything beyond that ..just the best me..

I got some help from a therapist and got my PPD under control .. and i'm happy to have a therapist still in my life to help me through/during this new chapter of WLS..

I want to be healthy/happy for myself to fully enjoy my little family and all the other great things in life..

I didn't make the best food choices this weekend .. went to P.F Changs for the first time (yum!) and then there was the whole Easter food fest 2010 on Sunday .. and I had a hard time resisting the candy that was around the house yesterday..

Old me: Oh well .. let's just keep the party going and it's the last week before your pre-op diet ..so just live it up.

Work-in-Progress me: Oh well.. Not a big deal..but let's work out at the gym (last night) and bag up all the Easter candy to have my husband bring it to work with him.. Let's work on getting back on track with a Protein shake for breakfast and lunch and meeting my water goal for the day..

I really like this "Work-in-Progress" me .. I hope she sticks around and puts up a good fight against "Old me" ..


Here's the link to Oprah's website and the story if you missed it on tv:

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Kathrine-Lees-Weight-Loss-Follow-Up/1

Kathrine and Oprah

BYOC #3

(for some reason i'm having trouble cutting/pasting..so you'll excuse me if the questions are not 110% copied the right way..)

1.) If you were a super hero what would you be called or what powers would you have:

-I would be able to read minds..

-Go back in time ..and then come back to the present

-X-Ray vision (cause i'm dirty like that)

but I'm not sure what my name would be ..



2.) What's a physical/mental thing you love about yourself:

I happen to love my blue eyese the most.. and my big booo-tayyy! <--- though a smaller boo-taay would be great too!


3.) If you stood in front of God what would you ask him:

I'd ask him to point me in the direction of where my Nana was hanging out so I could go see her..

4.) Beside yourself- who is/was your biggest enabler in your weight loss journey:

I blame me.. and the makers of soft batch chocolate chip cookies..

5.) What do you do for a living:

I'm a Full Time mommy to a little (almost) 4yr old boy ..he's a slave driver.. and a Part Time Postpartum Doula.. love helping new families/mommies..


6.) What blogs hit home for you this week/made you think:

I'm drawing a blank on this one.. i've read a bunch this week .. and love the support i've gotten over the past week..




and as bonus question/answer..

7.) How did you celebrate finding out you had a surgery date?

I got a blizzard from dairy queen!! Chocolate ice cream with cookie dough chunks..

4/28/2010

is not my surgery date! ..


it was... but then she called back an hour after I got home and gave me a date of 4/21 instead!!

woooo!! i have a date i have a daaaaaaaaaaaaaate! a date a little day in history of dates..

a band date..

not a band-aid..

not a blind date..




a band date!


six months since starting this whole crazy adventure.. and one month shy of two years that this little idea of getting this done was in my mind..

thanks for following along peeps..more thoughts on this later.. i'm now off to enjoy the sunshine and get a little vitamin d ..

:0)