Start Weight: 225lbs (10/2009) Goal Weight: 150lbs

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

it's gloomy out..and i'm feeling sad..

waaa waaa waahhh...

bandster hell is not a fun place to be .. and i've been trying so hard to stay on track with a few minor slip ups.. (a cookie here and a cookie there.. in my mouth) ..

today i had two squares of thin crust pizza (with chicken on top) and a mini cheese cake the size of my palm .. i'm feeling so bleh ..and full to the brim.. like I just ate thanksgiving dinner.. and it's almost been an hour since I ate..

i taped the biggest loser last night and i'm watching it this afternoon.. and someone (forgetting who..) was talking about daris and how he 'sabotaged' himself before the weigh in .. and that's almost how i'm feeling right now..

i've been so caught up in the fact that my *one month* with Leenah<---my coming up on friday ..and i'm so close to losing 10lb ..but more than likely i'll be at an 8lb loss..that it's almost like saying to myself:

hey ..your not going to make that 10lb mark.. nice try ..but maybe some other time .. so you want that pizza.. go eat it .. and your full.. but want that cheesecake ..why don't you go for that too..

what the heck.. these are the time that i feel that i'm going to rock this band..

and it's so crazy because the other part of me .. knows i have rocked this band so far.. i've lost 25lbs since the first of the year.. and that's given me some self confidence back .. some energy back ..and a few NSV to feel good about..

i'm so hard on myself..and i'm trying to work on that .. because it doesn't do positive things for me.. it pushes me backwards ..and that's the opposite of where i want to be..

i'm going to go to the gym in an hour .. (third time this week..) and then i have to go out and help a new mama with her brand new baby.. so i'll bring a protein shake for dinner..

and i'll just hope and pray that i haven't fallen to far off the losing path..


  1. Don't beat yourself up over this. It's just food and old habits are hard to break. Hang in there and forgive yourself. Hope you feel better.

  2. Just remember, there are many successful bandsters who lost a lot of weight, but weren't perfect all the time. "Only" 8 lbs in a month is great. Don't downplay your accomplishment because you wanted more. You are doing great.

  3. That is such a hard spot to be in because you don't have any real restriction and some of that initial enthusiasm is waning. Basically your success depends on your ability to diet and we all know that if we could diet successfully, we probably wouldn't be in this situation. So please give yourself a break. You are in a healing phase, not a weight-loss phase. Plus you are doing great with the exercise.

  4. Slap-Slap. You are doing great. When was the last time you could eat so little and feel like it was Thanksgiving. The band will work. Just wait. I only lost 5 pounds post-op before my fill so you are doing great. Cheer up! We're here though when you want to waaa waaa waahhh...

  5. Stop beating yourself up. Two small pieces of pizza and some cheesecake is no reason to! You have already lost 25lbs...equivalent to 3 newborn babies at 8lbs each! Imagine that! Only 50 more to go and you can rock it. Stay positive!

  6. I think we're pretty much on track...I too will be at my 1 month mark this coming Monday with my 1st fill happening the week after that. I'll likely be between 8-10 lbs. dropped since surgery. But I don't count the surgery date as my start...I mark my start as my pre-op diet (2 weeks prior) because that was my first act that led to weight loss. I don't understand why most of these gals totally discount those lbs. or even that time period. It helped me get to 23lbs. down to date and I don't care if that started on surgery date or not.
    Hang in and be a little gentler on yourself.

  7. Stop being so hard on ARE doing WILL be inspire us all...never give up. Smooches.